Saboteur

I'm writing this blog now so I can keep from running into the kitchen and eating anything not nailed down. I'm not hungry. I have no need for food. I just want it.

Watching TV is some kind of food desire hypnosis. I don't even have to see an ad for Wendy's or Dove Chocolates or Applebee's latest food offereing. Just the act of watching TV makes me want to grab a bag of chips. Or sip a soda. Or munch on something...maybe a pencil, if I could find one.

I am sabotaging myself. I am bouncing around from pound to pound, with nary another one lost. That's kind of poetic. I finally get on the bandwagon, the weightloss train, start working out, eating right, feeling good and I just can't seem to lose more weight. It's been a month. I think that's about how long you need to do something to make it a permanent part of your routine. I've got the routine down, I just keep fudging a bit.

A little Graeter's here. A little cookie there. A bit of chocolate in my hand. It all adds up. I know this. I get it. But I'm just weak.

It's back to the gym tomorrow. I feel like I've been lazy this weekend. Only a little bike ride on Saturday and walking around the market. Nothing major today. I guess it's my day of rest. I've rested enough. Back to work.

If all else fails, I'm moving on to another "program." Grapefruit diet, anyone?