Someone is lying

I'm having a good day. I got on the scale this morning and saw a good number. I'm down 14 1/2 pounds. That's not too shabby. I fit into my fat-fat jeans again. Things are looking up. So, forgive me for my cynicism, but someone is lying.

My mom sent me a shipment of her People magazines. A guilty pleasure, but I do enjoy reading about celebs to a point - who got married to early (Kourtney Kardashian, anyone?), who's getting separated (Avril Lavigne, who didn't see that coming?), who is no longer engaged (Katrina Smirnoff, Dancing with the Stars), and the lovely celeb baby pictures (how cute is that Shiloh, anyway?). And there are stories about real people, too, doing important, heroic things. But, really, it's about the celebs, right?

So, here's my dilemma. There is a starlet who has recently lost weight. She lost 14 pounds, just like me. She's eating healthier, leaving the Fritos behind. Working out, doing things right. She's down two dress sizes...HOLD on there, what? Two dress sizes? Are they kidding me? I wonder how that works. I'm not down two dress sizes. Does that only work if you're talking about sizes under a 10? Can you go from an 8 to a 6 by losing 14 pounds when you are barely over 100 pounds to begin with? I guess so. It's so frustrating.

It's like they stopped drinking soda and lost the "baby" bump the newspapers have been speculating about. I'll tell you what, my "baby" bump isn't going away that quickly and my baby is 7 years old. Even if I stop drinking diet soda, eating chocolate and most other foods, I will not lose my baby bump and go down two dress sizes by losing 14 pounds. It's unrealistic.

So, I'll wallow in my happiness about losing 14 pounds and wonder how much more I have to lose to go down one dress size. Or fit into my "just-a-bit-fat" jeans. Or move beyond the first foot of my closet where I relocated all the clothes I can fit into, leaving another 4 feet full of clothes that DON'T fit. Rock on, sister. Keep it up. It's working. Slowly, but surely.

And coming up, another diet book to read. I'll let you know how that goes.