Classy People

I don't know what to say. I had a contractor in my house, he's working for our local gas company. They're replacing risers? Still not sure what it is, but apparently it's the pipe part between the meter and the house. Not sure why they had to do it, but the flyer says it's at "no direct cost to you." What about indirect? I'm thinking I will see the charge at some point, in higher gas rates? Certainly.

Anyway, he finished his job outside and he had to check to make sure all our gas appliances were working o.k. I told him our water heater was electric. He didn't believe me. Then he saw it in the basement.

"Oh, yeah, it is," he says. Yeah, that's what I told you. I smile.

He putzes around looking for some switch. "O.K., asshole," he says to no one in particular, "where are you? There you are." He gives me a 10 minute lecture on furnaces and how (pay attention ladies, because this could save you money), if your furnace quits, just switch the power off, let it reboot (or think, as he said) and try it again. Sometimes if it loses gas pressure, it gets "confused."

The contractor tells me this because, he says, I am a lady and he likes to let us know because the $150 service call could be a nice outfit for me. Plus, the "old man" (his words, not mine) won't be happy when he has to pay for it. I can see where he's going with all of this. Classy guy.

So, he's leaving, still making sure I understand about the furnace, how it gets confused.

"So you see, when you lose power or the gas pressure, the furnace is out here." His hands go up beside his head. "I know you wipe your butt every day, but you don't know which hand you'll wipe with. It's like that. The furnace doesn't know what to do next. So, you reboot it to get it back on the right track."

Furnace lingo 101.

It's not until he leaves that I think, that man just said "wipe your butt" to me. Ew. Ew, EW, EW. I'm sure that's not in the employee handbook - "How to talk to customers" Use phrases like Wipe your Butt and Asshole.

I'm not sure how to take that. Good thing the kids weren't here. That would have been really classy.

Then, when he was putting the finishing spray on the new set up outside, he walks off my stone path through my garden and promptly tramples the only living balloon flower that came up from last year with his size 12 work boot. Aaarrrrggghhhh.

I love classy people.