Acai Berry Trap

I'm just trolling websites, checking out recipes for sangria, when I see an ad for a Mom with her gut hanging out saying she lost 30 pounds in some insanely short amount of time. So, of course, I click it.

I know whatever they are selling will not actually do what they say it will. But the company has actual videos from Rachel Ray's TV show, Fox News (like I'd take them seriously) and some health expert I've never heard of. And they throw around Ophrah's good name. I have to check it out.

The miracle berry, Acai - pronounced ahSahee - from the Amazon rainforest is the "cure." High in antioxidents, vitamins and helps you with just about any ailment you might have except for whining children. For that you need an entirely different drug. This woman, Judy, has a "blog" and is offering a free sample of Acai Berry pills and Colon Cleanse because, apparently, you have to use the two together to get the full effect.

I'm skeptical. So I click out of it. But the website won't let me. There's a pop up window. "Skeptical? I was at first, but if you just give it a try...blah, blah." I'm sucked in. I read a bit more, watch some videos, think "hmm, this might work. Why not give it a try?"

I actually fill out the form on the website, and click Rush me my FREE offer. That's when I'm directed to another site. Looks all official, has the Security lock symbols and hacker free symbols. Then I notice the company name, Preciousmind, and address, Cyprus. Ah, no. You'll get all my information, my address, my phone number, my credit card number for a 99 cent shipping fee and then what? Will I find charges on my credit card for plane tickets? Extravagant furs, luxury suites, electronics? I don't think so.

This time, I click out, all the way out, past all the pleading pop ups and back to my sangria recipe.

It's just not that easy. There is no miracle cure. There is no pill, procedure, program that can keep me from stuffing my face. It has to come from inside. Maybe if I keep saying it, it will sink in.

I'm off now. Have some Stacy's Pita chips and pine nut pesto hummus to attend to. That's healthyish, right?

Change is in the air

I feel a change coming on. It's been a long, busy, lonely, crazy summer. I feel out of the loop. Like the world is passing me by and I'm running, running after it but can't quite catch it.

It's time for a change. Change can be good...I think. I'm usually opposed to change. I like routine except when I don't want routine. That's the tricky part. Making routine not feel routine. Get it? Maybe I should say consistency.

First off, I'm changing my blog. Still the Middle of Nowhere, but now, I'm talking about my midriff. See that picture of me with the two chins? That's not me. That has to change. So, I'm going on a reading binge of diet books. Just a sampler, if you will, of what's out there and then writing about it. Seems like I can get fired up about that. More so than my life right now. There are some crazy diets out there. And some decent plans. If I can just find something that works for me and continues to work for me so I can fit back into my pre-fat clothes, I'll be happy.

One incentive is that I'm getting a wii for Christmas and I have already asked my Santa to get me a wii fit board and game. My hope is that I'll be in good enough shape to deal with the wii fit and have something to balance the gym time. I enjoy going to the gym, when I know there are going to be people there to talk to. Otherwise, it's kind of boring.

I'm hoping that my loyal readers (all three of you) will follow me on this silly journey. I've lost weight before. I know I can do. It's just a bitch. I can get cranky and I hope you will deal with me. I'll be in a great mood if I can lose the weight. But then comes the part when I get to my goal and I say "what now?" That's when I'll need you to keep me going and show me that there is something beyond goal weight, some purpose.

Happy slimming.